- Feast countdown = 31
- Cravings = Whatever my roommates are cooking on Sunday
- Craving distractions = Cheesy bridal magazines (special thanks to Amira)
When people have to name the major decisions or defining moments in their lives, the big ones that typically surface are college, first job, marriage, kids, buying a house, etc. I've made my way up to that third milestone, marriage, and the weight of this next decision has forced me to pause lately. Not due to doubts, in all honesty, but from the realization that I've already laid out a large portion of my life's course, and I have to stop now to take it all in.
From that bird's eye view, the finiteness of my existence is often startling. I suddenly want to accomplish more and experience more, but then it always begs the question, what's really worth accomplishing in the blink of an eye? How do I allocate that limited time to the people in my life? What do I want out of the time that I've been given?
It's not possible (or healthy) to dwell in this end-state mindset all the time, but once in a while, it's good. I get rooted again in the simple things that matter: like loving on my family and friends, showing random kindness to strangers, being a person that people respect, seeking out adventure whenever possible, regularly giving up material things to prove that they have no hold on me. The day-to-day, specific goals serve an important purpose, but they don't mean much if they don't fit into the bigger narrative.
This is how I take comfort in a dizzying and cruel world, that snatches up our time without warning and forces us to ask why. So, with little certainty of what's next, I can still lay out the things that are important to me and work to live up to that standard. On a smaller scale, I hope my marriage is much the same way.
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